Idiot Call of the Day
Chicago Emergency, XXXXXX.
"Is this 911?"
Yes, it is."
"Can you help me?"
What's the problem?
I don't know how to program my cell phone."
Really. We're not kidding.
We may post more of these. If you have any that tickled you or just flat-out pissed you off, E-mail them to us. If they tickle us or piss us off too, we'll run them on here at later dates.
posted by CPDDispatch @ 12:05 AM
18 Comments:
off topic, amen to lets talk's welcome back
-Chicago Emergency
Yes, I have a complaint. I've been driving around for 20 minutes and have to park blocks away. There is no parking on my block!
-Do you have permit parking, sir?
No. I should be able to park without having to drive around for 20 minutes.
-Sir, are there any commercial vehicles, or any other illegal parking on your block?
No
-There is nothing the police can do if there is nothing illegal going on sir.
Oh allright.
-Huge Sigh.
Chicago Emergency, XXXX
Please send the police to xxxx wxy street. There is a domestic going on here.
What's going on, maam?
My little boy is giving me problems. He won't listen to me and I want the police. (In the background) "put your shoes on boy!" --supposedly little boy is putting on shoes--
Okay - never mind - I don't need them anymore.
Call disconnected.
Why can't these people be fined for asshole calls like this?!?!??! Amazing
I work for an emergency answering service. We handle suicide, homicide, child molestation, employee stress lines, medical, retail, legal, etc.
We get the people from the ghetto who don't know there children's names, dob's, etc. Then there are the ones from the burbs, with the strange accents (everything ends with a high note on the last word, and sounds like a question instead of a normal sentence).
My child has a fever of 99.0, I need my doctor. Or, I need you to page my doctor for test results. When we explain it's an emergency line only, I got one call "I HOPE you get cancer, you bitch, page my fucking doctor..."
I feel for you people and hope you mention more calls...
I just love the calls that go something like this:
citz: This is my third time calling and the police are not here yet. If I was dying, what then? I know if I was white, they would have been here a long time ago.
Sometimes I'd really love to respond to that one:
--No - but ignorent callers like you get put to the bottom of the priority list!
Off topic.........I just wanted to thank all the good dispatchers who may be reading this. Having a calm and capable person on the other end of the radio makes our job that much easier. (I've worked on zone 8 for awhile and 2nd and 3rd watch primaries are outstanding, but I'm sure there's more) Happy New Year.
>>>"If I was dying, what then?"<<<<
Well then we would call out a Priest, or whatever your religion of choice is, for last rites.
Then we would all chip in, and buy the finest lavender suit w/feathered hat at Ford City for you!!
AMEN and RIP jagoff
0450
I love that one too. I just want to reply, to the infamous question, "what if I was dying?"
"Then you die. Next question?"
or
"Must be your day to die, bon voyage"
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"Must be your day to die, bon voyage"
Thank you!!!! I just woke up, am very exhausted, and almost fell off the chair laughing. ROTFLMAO
0450
My response would be ..No, if you were white , you wouldn't be calling in the first place!
or......No , if you WERE dying, I'd send the bambulance!
We have assholes from all the ethnic backgrounds in this melting pot called CHICAGO!
Everyone, have a safe & Happy New Year!
First two rules of oldskool call-taking:
The person (usually living in the ghetto) who starts by saying "I'm not sure if this is an emergency" will tell you something that is an emergency. Often shots fired out in front.
The person (usually not living in the ghetto) who starts off by saying "I have an emergency" will tell you something that is not an emergency under any reasonable definition.
These two rules still apply?
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0433 -- you hit the nail on the head. I want to laugh - and usually do silently - when the north sider whines out, "This is an emergency!! It's been 20 minutes and I can't sleep because of ______ (name your annoyance of choice)." While we in the call center are in the red because we are getting true emergencies and this person has the audacity to say, "I've called 5 times now - and still no police." I wish I could reach through the phone and punch the goof out - "There - that should help you sleep!"
If it were okay to attack someone on here using the person's name instead of initials, we'd think you'd at least get the name right.
leomemorial at 1204am :
"Then we would all chip in, and buy the finest lavender suit w/feathered hat at Ford City for you!!
AMEN and RIP jagoff "
TOO FUNNY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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